Let’s get the awesomeness out of the way shall we??
Oh yeah! Still rockin’ my weigh ins! I was very satisfied to see a lot of the hard work I have been putting in lately paying off. I put in a lot of strength training and cardio circuits last week. I even tried a couple of rounds of Insanity and holy crap y’all, it was hard. The first time I did the warm up I was like, no, this can’t be. It’s too….well…INSANE! But I got through it and did what I could and I had quite the caloric burn from it!
Aside from just trying to increase my fitness still and shedding weight, the biggest push for me these last few weeks (and even today) has been the Diet Bet I participated in. As many of you know, I signed up for A Merry Life‘s Diet Bet last month and pledged to lose 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks. It was a fun way to socialize and make losing weight a game but as the game neared to an end it really started to mess with me. More so than ever before, I was obsessing about what I ate, thinking constantly about burning calories, working out, avoiding certain foods, lifting weights in my kitchen etc. It was becoming a little bit too much and I’m pretty surprised that mancakes hasn’t tried throwing me out the window.
On Monday morning, I weighed in at the lowest weight I have seen since college and I thought to myself, I can win this thing! I didn’t consider other factors though like how I hadn’t eaten much the evening before, I had just weighed myself after a 600 calories burned run and the fact that I still had a few more days to go. Yesterday morning I had to fast for my physical and didn’t have anything to eat until lunch time. That alone messed with me a little and it showed right away on the scale this morning. I submitted a winning bet anyway and told myself I can make that number show up by the last possible second I have to confirm my final weight (which is tomorrow before midnight in case you’re wondering).
So I left home with a plan to drink my detox tea at work, go for a run during lunch and eat just what I need to stave off hunger. Folks, I don’t normally operate this way. It’s like I’ve been given a movie role on the condition that I lose 25 pounds by the end of next week. Or I’m trying to lower my weight class before a wrestling match. I’m doing crazy things and thinking up crazy ways to make this all happen and for what? 25 bucks? I easily spend that much on any given day on any given thing so why can’t I part with it? Or is it the pressure to be able to say to all of you who follow me that I won the Diet Bet? That I wasn’t a total failure? I never made any promises to anyone so why am I being so hard on myself? Also, I still managed to lose 7.5 lbs in 4 weeks but I keep fixating on how I didn’t make it to the 9 lbs I was assigned. Really Mariana? You’re going to beat yourself up over 1.5 lbs? You’re almost to the next size down in pants and to a huge milestone in your weight loss and you’re upset over a Diet Bet?
Look, some people are designed to let these kinds of things roll off their backs. I let A LOT of things roll off my back all the time but clearly, I am not cut out for doing this particularly kind of challenge. I end up being too hard on myself and become obsessive over the littlest things. Sure, there are certainly benefits to the game like having something extra in the back of my mind that reminded me to stay on track as much as possible but hearing myself say things like “I want to win my diet bet so no _____ for me until next weekend!” or “I’m going to work out in the kitchen, I want to win this diet bet” was ridiculous, unnatural and not me. Also, it’s super annoying to listen to, apologies to you again mancakes.
I now acknowledge that I probably just can’t handle being a Diet Better, at least not for now. If my goal had been smaller it might have felt more doable but 9 lbs in 4 weeks? That’s a lot, especially for me as I am now at a point in my journey where my losses have steadied out to a good pace of only 1-1.5 lbs a week. jumping up to losing 2 or more lbs a week after not being totally new to weight loss (when you might lose 5 lbs your first week!) was really hard and at times discouraging. That’s not good. That’s not healthy. I shouldn’t feel bad for not being able to lose more than 2 lbs a week when it’s usually not even recommended by doctors and nutritionists.
So what I’m trying to say is that I found out the hard way that Diet Bet may not be for me. Perhaps I will try again some other time when my goal is not as lofty or maybe after I’ve had my next kiddo (read: not currently pregnant) and I’m in a position where losing a bunch of weight quickly is already going to happen naturally.
Don’t think I’m dissing on Diet Bet because the actual website/app/community/game is fantastic and fun! And if you are new to losing weight, it’s actually an awesome way to get started! But if you’ve hit cruise control and things are smooth sailing and doing their own thing naturally, having to hit the accelerator on your body all of a sudden can be a little too much and frankly not worth the mind f***.
So in conclusion: I’m still kicking ass and taking names and I won’t beat myself up for 25 bucks I would have probably spent on nachos and beer anyway (<—cuz Chicago is expensive and yes I still eat and drink this on occasion)