Meh. According to the receptionist at WW, I’m “up a smidge”. I expected it, I actually expected a higher gain than that so I’m pretty happy that it was just a bit. Truth be told, I haven’t been on top of my portion sizes, it’s been pretty freestyle lately. Not to mention, my early morning workouts are pretty much out the window. I have been exhausted in the mornings lately and I have been “sleeping in” (read: waking up at 6 instead of 5 am) and working out at work or in the afternoons. The thing is that these workouts are not as great, I’m much better in the a.m. I’m much more energized if I’m working out on an [almost] empty stomach instead of after a day of eating and drinking. I also am more likely to workout if I get it done first thing in the morning because we all know that as the day progresses, I am more likely to convince myself not to do it. Additionally, there are all of these reasons why morning workouts are wonderful for weight loss.
I feel like I’m hitting a motivational slump. I don’t have a solid challenge I’m working on because quite frankly, the day-to-day work that goes into those has exhausted me completely.Ever since the Diet Bet debaucle, I have felt a little burned by the extreme behavior I engaged in and I feel like now I’ve thrown myself off and I’m trying to find my footing again. It’s like I’m in a pseudo-depressive state where I just can’t hop out of bed in the mornings as easily and the pep in my step is gone most days and forced on others. I have a lot of weight to lose, I’m probably about a third of the way there and it is starting to feel like such a daunting task. But I have so many great reasons to keep going, like the awesome stuff already happening on the inside as well as the outside. I am still working out 5 times a week and most of my meals are healthy and point friendly, but like I’ve said, I’ve been kind of indifferent about my portion sizes and I’ve been snacking like crazy these last 2 weeks. Now granted (and TMI for some, sorry in advance), this was my special lady week and I think I took that excuse and ran with it (not to mention the usual weight fluctuation that can happen).
Look, it’s just 0.2 lbs and I get that it sounds like I’m beating myself up for that pretty badly. But believe me when I say that I’m not even worried about that, I can make that disappear by next week. I’m just worried that I might be tip-toeing away from the things that work for me while no one is looking. It’s always easier to go back to the thoughtless behavior I engaged in before but that doesn’t benefit anyone, especially me. I just need a moment to be allowed to complain ok? Here goes: It’s just….uggghhhh so much work….someone do it for me! waaaahhhhhh.
Alright, I’m just going to sit on the couch until bedtime and then try again tomorrow morning. All we can do is try, right?