So you are probably noticing the little quotation marks around my title. I have made an executive decision: I’m taking a break from the scale. There are a myriad of reasons why I am doing this which I will share with you over time. A few of which I will share with you today.
First of all, I apologize to any of you that sit and wait in hungry anticipation every Tuesday night to see my weigh-in post with my numbers up (you all do that right?). If I have broken your heart then I am sorry but I have always said that I am not that into numbers anyway, just progress and positivity. Right now, I feel as though this is the right decision for me for a few reasons:
1. This is my last week as a Weight Watchers monthly pass member. This isn’t a decision I’m taking lightly but we are trying to save money wherever we can in the Project Unfluff house and I think I am ready to take the training wheels off of my eating practices. I am not saying I have mastered the Points Plus system or even Simply Filling (which was kind of a bust when I tried it) but I think I have learned enough about portion sizes, hunger signals, healthier food options and whether or not I’m soothing an emotion with food to be on my own for a little while. If anything, I can always go back to the online plan for half the cost! Instead, I might try MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople.
2. I’m still grappling with what numbers even mean to me. I’m 9 months into this journey and I still don’t have any idea what I think as my ideal weight or clothing size that I’d like to aim for. I see pictures of my past and I know I would like to look like that again but that was 10-14 years ago! That was before I was done growing. Before I had a child. I can’t focus on that body because it wasn’t the body of a woman, it was the body of a teenager and it’s not realistic for me to say that I want to go back to that. I want to work with this body the way it is now, get the body fat down, strengthen the muscles and slim down to a size I feel comfortable being at, even if it’s not a single digit size.
3. I’m exhausted by scales and measurements. I might check in every once in a while and see where I am at but I started all of this to finally be in tune with my body and some days I wake up feeling awesome and slim and gorgeous and then I get on the scale and if that number doesn’t reflect how I feel, I let that number ruin my day.
So for these reasons (and more, stay tuned!), I am taking a hiatus from the scale. Yes, I did weigh-in today at WW and I gained 1.4 lbs. No, this is not why I am breaking up with the scale. Frankly, this was a long time coming. I came to this a-ha moment last night and it made for a much better morning. I knew there was a good chance I might have gained again but I feel strong, I feel fit and my clothes are all still loose! Plus, there’s more to the story I don’t know. That weight might be muscle! I’ve been doing strength circuits and yoga for a month now, all workouts that are meant to build muscle. There’s a good chance that’s what might be going on. Also, I really do want to try out being more intuitive with my eating and fitness. I want to make intentional choices, adjust things accordingly and deal with emotional eating head on.
I know what you’re thinking: “She’s setting herself up for failure! This blog will be changed to Project Re-Fluff in no time!” Nah. I don’t think so. I can’t go back, it’s no fun back there! I had no energy! I wasn’t as excited about life! I didn’t feel good about myself! And most importantly: I never lived in the present like I do now. It was always “tomorrow” this and “next time” that. I can’t live that way anymore. The world has become an even scarier place lately and crazy things are happening all of the time (I live in Chicago, local news is terrifying no matter what neighborhood you live in) so I have to be living the life I want now, not when or if I finally get around to being healthier.
We’ll see how this all goes. I think just taking the pressure off of looking at the number on the scale will be good for my soul. Instead, how about focusing on other numbers like how many miles I can run in one workout? How many flights of stairs I can take without wanting to keel over? How many rounds around the yard I can chase my kid before getting winded? How many pants I have to put in storage because they’re too big? Those are the numbers I’m going to focus on right now. What numbers do you want to focus on??
Ok wait, one more number: how many more side by sides like these??? Amiright?