It’s been a while since I’ve written but today, I feel inspired.
Do you ever feel like your partner or best friend is cheating on you when they try a new restaurant or food without you? Have you ever been reduced to “WHEN DID YOU EAT THERE?!” when they tell you, “oh yeah, that place is good.” Have you ever genuinely felt hurt, betrayed or just plain jealous when you find out he/she tried spaghetti squash/specialty hot dogs/ frozen hot chocolate etc. without you? I have. I’m feeling it right now.
Today, my husband snagged a day off from work since he has all sorts of extra vacation time he needs to use up by the end of the year. He’s out and about, having a day to himself while I’m at work and babycakes is at the sitter. Don’t judge, we try to tell our sitter well in advance if she won’t be getting paid a full week and since this was super last minute, we dropped babycakes off in the morning. Well, I’m over here
reading buzzfeed buried in work and he starts checking in to the movie theater on facebook and then he checks into Hot Doug’s, a place we’ve talked about visiting for years. Suddenly, I’m not even mad that he watched Thor without me (which I refer to as movie cheating, another subject for another time) or that he’s having the time of his life on his day off, I’m mad he is eating gourmet hot dogs without me. This may be a mixture of the uptick in my hormones lately or the fact that I’ve been dying for a day off for weeks and/or both but I suddenly feel like I’ve been cheated on. And although in real life, I realize it’s not actually adultery or even anything bad, I can’t help but feel a little slighted (sorry, boo). I’m slowly coming to my senses as we speak and also, I’ve been to many a restaurant or bar that my husband has yet to visit but for some crazy reason (probably his OFFSPRING I’M GROWING), I feel entitled to my jealousy.
Now, I know this is supposed to be a blog about my weight loss and health journey and, for the time being, about having a healthy pregnancy but dangit, a girl wants a fancy hot dog every once in a while too! We’ve been living barely a mile from this particular place for over a year now and on the one day I’m crazy jealous that I don’t have a day off, he goes and eats these two pieces of deliciosity:
At the end of the day, I will look back and laugh at myself for this because really, they’re just hot dogs. What’s really interesting to me, however, is the fact that for a moment I really genuinely felt hurt. What is that about? My husband gets to make the most out of his day off and hit up a restaurant we’ve been dying to try for years and I feel like he’s cheating on me? That’s nuts. Could be the baby hormones. Could be the huge influx of work I’ve had to do at my job these last few weeks. And it could also be my emotional eating creeping up on me.
In the past, eating something indulgent in secret or finishing off leftovers I knew everyone else would want somehow gave me a false sense of joy. On the flipside, finding an empty cookie plate or a wrapper of that thing I’ve been hoping to get my hands on all day genuinely made me feel sad, betrayed even. Well for a fleeting moment today, those feelings came back. I didn’t even know gourmet hot dogs would be on the menu today for one of us and now suddenly I’m mad I didn’t get to have them too? Come on Mariana, you’re better than that.
But you KNOW what I’m talking about. Food for many of us is enjoyable. It’s an experience and trying new foods and/or restaurants is an activity we may cherish with our partners, especially when you live in a place like Chicago where incredible restaurants pop up around you everyday. But it can also be this thing we can get really obsessive about pretty quickly. I’m already looking back on the last hour thinking really? All that for some hot dogs? But that’s the old me reacting to the fact that I missed out. I didn’t get a piece of the delicious pie. I don’t get the bragging rights he does. And those are the more unhealthy and dark sides to my relationship with food that have plagued me for years.
So mancakes, I have nothing but love for ya. No really, you’re the freakin’ love of my life. And I’m glad you got to enjoy your day off with a good movie and tasty eats
that I only hope give you heartburn. I’m already over it and I look forward to the next time we get to explore a new place together.