Whoa Mama!

Oh hai. Wait….let’s just get this out of the way….


Yup. That’s pretty much how it’s been around here lately. Sorry kids, what can I say? There’s not much additional brain space left when growing a human. I’ve been busy trying not to fall asleep in the middle of the day and making sure I’m eating enough produce, dairy/calcium-heavy foods and whole grains. Plus I clean when I can, make baby to-do lists, pick out cloth diapers for our registry (yeah, we’re going to try cloth this time!) and try to keep my feet on the ground as my time as a mother of one is quickly coming to a close.

Health-wise, things have been great, I’ve only gained 16 lbs total and I have only 9 weeks to go! This means I’ll be within my recommended weight gain range (even if I gain a pound a week from here on out, which is normal in the last tri) thanks to tracking and daily guidelines I try hard to follow. You know the usual: 3-5 veggies, 2-4 fruits, 3 servings of dairy, 3ish servings of whole grain. That alone has kept me crazy busy, I find it really challenging to stay on top of these goals. I’m still struggling most days, especially since I grew out of enjoying the taste of a glass of milk. Luckily, almond milk makes a good substitute but still…by the end of the day, if I haven’t met my daily health goals I’m usually too full or too tired for anything else. It also doesn’t help that staying on top of healthy cooking has also been tough, pasta and meat sauce is just.so.much.easier.

The reality is that there will more than likely be more days like that from here on out. Energy-wise, I’m back to first trimester-like symptoms. This kid is growing so fast and I’m getting more and more uncomfortable that sleep is sometimes rough and I’m just exhausted all over again. I’m also having stronger cravings lately. Mostly for sweets and I’ve had to really try and curb those or come up with substitutes like these awesome blueberry yogurt muffins I made for my cake cravings I was having last month! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve given in a lot more lately (like this wicked carrot cake craving i’m having) but luckily, my ability to have just one serving and/or get over something after a taste still lingers from my weight loss days. So even if you put a whole cake in front of me and tell me to have at it, chances are I’ll be good after a slice or two (over 2 days, not all at once!).

My days of binge-eating have been over for a while now, even more so now that I just don’t have the room for both a baby and a super full stomach. And now that I’ve been reaping the benefits of a healthier pregnancy, I have even less of a reason to get crazy and let myself go these last few weeks. Seriously, by this time last pregnancy, I was not making any intentional decisions and went for ice cream and pizza most days for the last two weeks. I won’t be doing that this time. If I even want to go there, I’ll probably switch to frozen yogurt instead because I love me some toppings and it meets my daily requirement of low-fat dairy, huzzah!

Here’s the latest pregnant lady pic of me!

Whoa Mama. 31+ weeks

I realize I missed out on supplying you with a steady stream of these but never fear, your compilation is here!

From top left to bottom right: 13 weeks, 14 weeks, 16 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 31 weeks
From top left to bottom right: 13 weeks, 14 weeks, 16 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 31 weeks

I’m going to try and write a little more from here on out, I’m thinking of adding a “Dear Diary” section in an effort to capture more of my daily happenings in life but let’s be real, once this baby comes out, I can’t guarantee anything and the tumbleweeds might come back for a while or at least until I start unfluffing once again! Either way, I’m here, I’m doing great and I’m loving life.

❤ M.


FitBloggin13: “I Am Powerful Beyond All Measure”

my new Bama+Ry necklace! (click for link)

I can’t even…I don’t even….the words…they just….

Ok. Focus, Mariana.

Let me just start off by saying that as a blogger/social media user it is so easy to write and post and like and retweet and quote and share and “interact” while still feeling somwhat disconnected from my readers. This is why my experience at Fitbloggin was so special. All of these people who I have interacted with over the internet were in front of me, talking to me, hugging me, smiling at me, laughing with me and sweating with me. For the first time since the launch of Project Unfluff I felt a deeper connection not only to my fellow fitbloggers but to all of you and to this blog.

So many awesome things went down at FB13 that I’m having a hard time putting it into words so instead, I’m going to choose to focus on the one activity that completely blew my mind and has made an impact on me in a way I never expected.

Meet Particia Moreno of IntenSati. She was our fitness instructor on Friday morning for the Cardio Class sponsored by Reebok. For a full recap of the class, check out the Live Blog as written by Renisha James of Renewed Fitness.

Here was my experience: I felt like I had gone to church and came out feeling renewed like I had just had a spiritual experience. Before I get into that, let’s take a step back. You might be surprised to learn that when I was in high school I was a very devout Catholic. I went to mass every Sunday, went to weekly youth ministry events, attended retreats, Catholic teen conferences and mission trips. Although, I am not a practicing Catholic today for a variety of reasons that I will never get into on this blog, those experiences absolutely shaped my outlook on life, my spirituality and my belief that there is something bigger than us out there. I remember several occasions in which I had very moving spiritual experiences that brought me to tears and in one case, made me laugh uncontrollably. Those experiences left me feeling at peace and recharged with fresh energy and hope. To my absolute surprise, this was one of those moments too and it happened in a fitness class instead of in a church.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I started to feel that shift in my soul and that warmth in my heart, it was probably after the 10th time of repeating after Patricia when she told us to chant:

“I am powerful beyond measure.”

“I am stronger than I seem.”‘

“I am enough. I am enough”

“I am done complaining, I am now celebrating. I aspire to be all I can be and now I believe I will succeed.”

All of this while throwing punches and kicks. I went from thinking “Yeah, I’m a bad ass! Look at me punch!” to “Holy crap, I really am enough, this shit is deep.” And that’s when the tears started pooling in the corner of my eyes and for a moment I really thought I was going to lose it and have yet another “Let Go and Let God” moment like back in my more religious days. It was then that I took a second to grab a sip of water and try to collect myself because I honestly had no idea what was going to happen to me next if I kept that up. I knew that I wanted to keep going and I jumped right back in with butterflies in my stomach and a little skip to my heart. I couldn’t believe how powerful this class had become and I felt as though everyone around me felt the same way.

The energy in the huge banquet hall we were in was incredible, all of us were feeling it. On Saturday, I would hear about how those in the hallway who heard the chanting coming from us stopped in to see what was going on and were blown away by how intensely focused all of us doing the workout seemed. They felt it too, this woman up on stage is doing something special to the people in this room. Once the workout was over, I would say at least half of us bum-rushed Patricia for a picture, a hug and to thank her for the incredible experience. More than one fitblogger was so moved, they had clearly made it past the point I feared I would get to and were overcome by tears and emotions.

Patricia Moreno: Life Changer-er-er

Nothing compares to the feeling of realizing for the first time or, in my case, being reminded that we are all enough. And this is a theme that was present in all aspects of FB13. We are enough, we are strong, we are powerful and we should be celebrating how far we have come and how much more we will accomplish. Regardless of where each one of us are in our journeys, we have been brave enough to share it with the world and we are stronger now than when we first started out.

I made some new friends this weekend, ate some incredible food, torched some serious calories (3700!) and learned some new things about blogging I never knew before. I also was starstruck by those that inspired me to launch my blog in the first place!

I will definitely go back again, hopefully every year from now until the end of time! And now it’s time for a photo recap!

Let’s talk about how funky Portland is!

This guy at the Farmer’s Market

The food in Portland is indescribable. Let’s just say that in PDX, it’s cool to eat locally grown, organic and naturally raised produce and meats. I’ve never tasted fresher foods at every meal like I did in Portland! I would go back just for that! Also, the VooDoo donuts were tasty but my sweet tooth is not what it used to be so I wouldn’t wait more than 20-30 minutes in line to try one. On my last day, they said the wait would be an hour and a half so I jumped on a bus to their second location and got donuts within 15 minutes. Those were for mancakes, not me!

Om nom nom nom

There was also some serious fitness going in the course of 3 days! I did Bootcamp (where we made the local news!), Yoga, jogging, Zumba, Reebok Cardio, JumpSport and a 5K! Buh-bye calories!

Me on a JumpSport Trampoline!
Closing Day FitBloggin Fun Run 5K Before and After

The only thing I did not try was the CrossFit WOD and that’s because felt like I was going to die  had to complete my own Live Blog for the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) led by Karen C L Anderson.

I didn’t take a ton of pictures but when I remembered to whip out my camera, it was to take pictures of the bloggers I enjoyed meeting oh so much!

Top Left: Meredith from merbear.net; Top Right: Kelly from nothankstocake.com; Bottom Left: Margo Porras from nachomamasblog.com; Bottom Right: Brooke from brookenotonadiet.com

All in all, it was the time of my life! I would do it again in a heartbeat and if any of you want to talk more about it, feel free to reach out to me! Now back to real life. Humph!

❤ M.

Oh! and stay tuned for a post on all the swizz-ag! Hint: there might be a giveaway involved!

Weekly “Weigh-In”: The Rhythm of Weight Loss (and Parenting)

One of my favorite movies of all time! I know, I'm sorry.
One of my favorite movies of all time! I know, I’m sorry.

So I lied a little. I said wasn’t going to get back on the scale for a while but I went to WW to weigh-in anyway this morning. Part of it is just habit. I’ve been doing this since November and it’s become an anchor in my week that helps keep me accountable. The other part was sheer curiosity! I had been gaining steadily for three weeks before I decided in last week’s post to just not weigh myself anymore. Despite all of that, I just really, really, really wanted to see if any of the focus I put in last week paid off and well, it did. I’m down 2.4 lbs (for a total 35.4 lbs lost) which means I worked off all the weight gain from the last 3 weeks and then some. Or maybe I didn’t work it off per se, I could have just been going through some sort of adjustment with my body. Since I have been on this journey, there have been two other times where weight just crept back on unexpectedly (ok, maybe not THAT unexpectedly) only to disappear entirely and then some the next week or two later.

So I guess for someone who made some long-winded statements (this is my schtick, if you haven’t figured this out by now!) about just trying to be in tune with her body and do what feels right, I obviously wasn’t paying attention to my own words. I’m now understanding that there’s a rhythm to this process. Weight loss is not this = that, it ebbs and flows much like so many other things in our lives. Some weeks, I really do indulge a bit and might not make all of my workouts which justifies a gain. Other weeks (usually following an EARNED gain) I might have kicked my own butt back into gear, stayed on top of my points and exercise and still gained again, leaving me feeling disappointed and ashamed. But 7 days is an arbitrary number to assign my body and my progress. I can’t expect my body to just do what I expect it to do whenever I want, if I still gain again the following week, it’s because I might still be paying for the stuff I did the week before.

This reminds me of what it has been like to become a parent. I have struggled and still struggle with being patient through my daughter’s developmental stages. I look back on how difficult it was for me to transition from an individual to a mom and how I literally had to be ok with not doing things (like showering, using the bathroom whenever I wanted, making plans with friends) because I now had this little creature that depended on me and her father. I set out to be one of those super moms, going right back to work because I wanted to (not because I was all out of paid leave), finishing graduate school without missing a beat and finding a job right away once I graduated. Well as it turned out, I only went back to work for 8 weeks. Instead of staying at my job until the last possible second or just asking for part time so I could get my internship done, I gave it up entirely and I even stayed home for 2 weeks with my kid before my internship and assistanship began. I stayed home with her again for 4 months while I searched for a full time job, again, something I never thought I would have to or want to do (but I did, it was like a summer vacation and I’m grateful for it!).

Photo break! She finally sat still for our train ride to the color run!

There have been times when I have begged my child to do things or understand things she’s not developmentally ready for and I have had to really take a step back and be patient with her and with myself. It finally dawned on me that I can’t rush her and the things we want to happen will, all in good time. As long as mancakes and I continue to provide structure and set expectations, she will eventually achieve her milestones and blast on through to the next ones like we’ve seen her do in her 2 years of life. You should see her bed time routine! It hasn’t changed in over a year and it has proven to work beautifully every night. She adores consistency and routine, it helps her thrive.

Have you caught my epiphany moment yet? Yep, I guess it seems that I gotta take it easy on my fluff too. Obviously, it’s not a person that I can reason with or a pet I can train. But weight loss is a lot like parenting, it takes time, persistence, patience and most of all, consistency. If I keep pushing against my excess weight through a healthy diet and lots of exercise, it eventually has to relent to my efforts. I have to trust that the results will show up over time, I just need to be patient with any adjustments or needs my body might have that could cause the occasional gain. All I know is that after 2 years of parenting, I get better results using the “killing it with kindness” method than with anything else. So body, you’re going to keep getting all sorts of lovins from me in the form of healthy food, water and ass-kicking workouts! You’re welcome in advance 😉

❤ M.

Weekly “Weigh-In”

So you are probably noticing the little quotation marks around my title. I have made an executive decision: I’m taking a break from the scale. There are a myriad of reasons why I am doing this which I will share with you over time. A few of which I will share with you today.

First of all, I apologize to any of you that sit and wait in hungry anticipation every Tuesday night to see my weigh-in post with my numbers up (you all do that right?). If I have broken your heart then I am sorry but I have always said that I am not that into numbers anyway, just progress and positivity. Right now, I feel as though this is the right decision for me for a few reasons:

1. This is my last week as a Weight Watchers monthly pass member. This isn’t a decision I’m taking lightly but we are trying to save money wherever we can in the Project Unfluff house and I think I am ready to take the training wheels off of my eating practices. I am not saying I have mastered the Points Plus system or even Simply Filling (which was kind of a bust when I tried it) but I think I have learned enough about portion sizes, hunger signals, healthier food options and whether or not I’m soothing an emotion with food to be on my own for a little while. If anything, I can always go back to the online plan for half the cost! Instead, I might try MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople.

2. I’m still grappling with what numbers even mean to me. I’m 9 months into this journey and I still don’t have any idea what I think as my ideal weight or clothing size that I’d like to aim for. I see pictures of my past and I know I would like to look like that again but that was 10-14 years ago! That was before I was done growing. Before I had a child. I can’t focus on that body because it wasn’t the body of a woman, it was the body of a teenager and it’s not realistic for me to say that I want to go back to that. I want to work with this body the way it is now, get the body fat down, strengthen the muscles and slim down to a size I feel comfortable being at, even if it’s not a single digit size.

3. I’m exhausted by scales and measurements. I might check in every once in a while and see where I am at but I started all of this to finally be in tune with my body and some days I wake up feeling awesome and slim and gorgeous and then I get on the scale and if that number doesn’t reflect how I feel, I let that number ruin my day.

So for these reasons (and more, stay tuned!), I am taking a hiatus from the scale. Yes, I did weigh-in today at WW and I gained 1.4 lbs. No, this is not why I am breaking up with the scale. Frankly, this was a long time coming. I came to this a-ha moment last night and it made for a much better morning. I knew there was a good chance I might have gained again but I feel strong, I feel fit and my clothes are all still loose! Plus, there’s more to the story I don’t know. That weight might be muscle! I’ve been doing strength circuits and yoga for a month now, all workouts that are meant to build muscle. There’s a good chance that’s what might be going on. Also, I really do want to try out being more intuitive with my eating and fitness. I want to make intentional choices, adjust things accordingly and deal with emotional eating head on.

I know what you’re thinking: “She’s setting herself up for failure! This blog will be changed to Project Re-Fluff in no time!” Nah. I don’t think so. I can’t go back, it’s no fun back there! I had no energy! I wasn’t as excited about life! I didn’t feel good about myself! And most importantly: I never lived in the present like I do now. It was always “tomorrow” this and “next time” that. I can’t live that way anymore. The world has become an even scarier place lately and crazy things are happening all of the time (I live in Chicago, local news is terrifying no matter what neighborhood you live in) so I have to be living the life I want now, not when or if I finally get around to being healthier.

We’ll see how this all goes. I think just taking the pressure off of looking at the number on the scale will be good for my soul. Instead, how about focusing on other numbers like how many miles I can run in one workout? How many flights of stairs I can take without wanting to keel over? How many rounds around the yard I can chase my kid before getting winded? How many pants I have to put in storage because they’re too big? Those are the numbers I’m going to focus on right now. What numbers do you want to focus on??

Ok wait, one more number: how many more side by sides like these??? Amiright?

photo (16)

❤ M.

The Mind Shift

One of this week’s long-winded facebook statuses:


Reading back through my recent blog posts and going over what I say versus what I do on a day-to-day basis has really made me stop and think. This may shock some of you, but I am a bit of a raging feminist (insert sarcastic womp womp here). I double majored in Psychology and Women’s Studies as an undergrad and I have very strong beliefs in the absolute equal rights and capabilities of all women everywhere. My husband is a feminist too, it’s one of the most wonderful and freeing things about being in a relationship with him. We are always on the same page.

So…I’ve realized that I am struggling a lot with my weight loss journey BECAUSE of my values. On the one hand, I want to lose weight. A lot of weight. For a variety of reasons: more energy, to fight a family history of high cholesterol, to be there for my family as long as possible and yes, for aesthetic reasons too. I want to look a certain way. I like to tell myself that the way I envision myself looking is not based on what I see in the media and what we as women are socialized to believe we are supposed to look like but that’s just bullshit. There is what some call “conventional attractiveness” in which thinner, more athletic bodies are more accepted and praised in our society. And some days I wake up and I want to fit into that category. I do, I admit it, someone take my feminist card and burn it.

Thankfully, most days I just want the way I look to match the way I feel. This manifests quite hilariously when I’m in a dressing room trying on a size that’s way too small. What? You mean I’m not a size 6 yet? But I FEEL that way! Anyway…

One problem I find myself running into when I have a desire to look a certain way is that it goes against a lot of the principles behind Health at Every Size and Body Image Movement (to name a couple). There is a divide among women (and men too), several actually. We’ve got the old-school, let’s all look like beauty pageant winners, no matter what it takes group. Then we have the plus-sized/curvy girl/beauty at any size movement that tells us to celebrate our bodies the way they are and fight for better representation in fashion and media (which I am 100% on board with). Very recently, the latest slogan to come out is Strong is the New Skinny that celebrates women [and men] working to build strong muscles and definition instead of just slimming down.

The thing is, none of these views are wrong in my opinion. You should have the right to decide what you want to look like and how you’re going to get there. It’s the WHY I have an issue with and also the path some might take to achieve their goals. If you want to be thin, average, curvy/plus, strong, etc. for reasons other than that’s just the way you would prefer to be (i.e. to attract a partner, be viewed as sexually desirable, because the magazines told you to, etc.) and you’re getting there through body shaming and deprivation of food, necessary medications and other healthy habits, then I have a problem with that.

I’m just so tired of hearing a lot of people in the health communities that I am now a part of engage in body and/or behavior shaming. For example, I’ll see posts about how someone had a bag of chips or a slice of pizza or cake at a birthday party and now need to work it off as punishment. I even feel a little irked when I see the whole “I’m only human!” thing. All of these are problematic to me because they all hint at feelings of shame, guilt and overall negativity. I’ve been guilty of this and I just don’t think I want to feel bad about it anymore. I just get so tired of seeing a constant “Did you mess up today? You better get out there and exercise!”. Screw that. Have a cupcake, sit still and worry about it tomorrow or even better: act like it never happened because one cupcake in a week will not derail you, especially if you are continuing to put in the work and make good choices at all other times of the day.

When I shared online that I was struggling with having leftover birthday cake around after my daughter’s party, one person told me she has her kids pick out individual slices at a bakery while she just has coffee. Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the joy of partaking in the treat to celebrate your child’s day? Unless you have 19 children like the Duggars and have a birthday to celebrate every week, I don’t see the harm in having a treat to celebrate on that day. I am really struggling with this whole all or nothing approach a lot of people seem to take.

Sure, what you ate might actually make you feel like crap because you don’t usually eat that way anymore, but that’s a hit I’m willing to take sometimes and you have to ask yourself was it worth it? If the answer is yes, pop a pepto and move on. If the answer is no, build on that for next time. But dwelling on it or acting in bizarre ways to punish yourself for it is wrong and disrespectful to your body.

I’ve started to really question myself a lot lately about whether or not I’m respecting my body. I have to remind myself that our stomachs do not have arms that pop out and place donuts directly into our mouths. We use our minds to ultimately decide if we are going to consume something or not. So let’s stop abusing our bodies for the mental choices we make! I can’t go for a run every time I choose pizza, I have to make peace with the choice and continue on with my nutrition and fitness per usual. I have to treat all of me, mind, body and soul with care. I don’t get to punish one part because of what the other parts did to it, it doesn’t work that way and it’s not respectful.

So I guess I could say that I have made a pretty big breakthrough lately. I’m going to make a conscious effort to not punish myself verbally and/or physically for the choices I make that aren’t always in line with my healthy habits. I’m going to focus on the positive choices and the wins. This is why Weight Watchers works for me, the point system makes room for that. You better believe you’ll see me celebrating things that are delicious, made with effort and care and because food is a part of life, it’s a part of my culture and it’s how humans celebrate special moments. Healthy living and indulgent behavior (not just food but also moments of inactivity, too much sun, etc.) can coexist and should coexist. I often joke that “when I’m done with weight loss” or “when I hit my goal”, life will be x, y and z but what I’ve finally started to learn on my own is that there will never be an end. Health and fitness is an ongoing relationship I have to maintain just like any other relationship I am in. Being active is a basic human need. So is eating high protein and sometimes high fat foods. I don’t get to stop when I’m “done” or too old and tired. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, there’s just light,everywhere.

And for goodness sakes, I need to really stop obsessing over my weight in general. This was a great article a friend shared with me this week titled “If You Must Think About Your Weight, Think These 10 Things”. Read it, let it sink in, and think of all the other ways we could be thinking about our bodies. I’ve been enlightened to what works for me when it comes to living a healthier life and all I can hope for is that I never allow my new-found consciousness go dim ever again. So from now on, I’m going to choose to be kind to myself. I’m still going to be sarcastic and crack jokes about food and health but I’m not going to continue the cycle of criticism and shaming that I put myself through every time I make I have to make a choice.

Wow, can you tell I’ve been mulling this over in my head for a good minute? Thanks for reading, feel free to comment with your own thoughts on this matter.

❤ M.

What I Love About Me Wednesday!

Every Wednesday I will feature something about me that I love! Let me explain: all this Unfluffing might make it seem as though I am/was unhappy with my body but quite the contrary! I was unhappy with my lack of energy, my poor eating choices and my unending progression to larger clothing sizes that meant I had to keep spending money in order to wear clothes that fit.I didn’t have something that was truly mine, that I could rely on to really challenge myself and push me to newer and higher limits.

On Project Unfluff, you might notice I’m not really into body shaming, I don’t believe in using shame as a way to motivate us to make changes. I am all about celebrating and challenging our abilities as well as building healthier relationships with food and exercise. Human beings are not designed to be sedentary which is why you feel soooo good after a work out or a nutritious meal- we were designed to keep it moving and to not eat things that come out of factories and warehouses!

Furthermore, I must admit, I love the heck out of my body and nothing motivates me more than making something great of it.  I may not like what it can or can’t do sometimes, but I do love it unconditionally at the end of the day. This one and only body that I have has been through so much and I wouldn’t trade it in for all the skinny females in the world. This body has made it through awkward middle and high school years, all-nighters in college (both academic and social), break-ups, falling in love, wedding planning, graduate school and most importantly, my body allowed me to grow and feed the most important little lady in my life.

I owe my body so much already for giving me so many incredible experiences and that I’m paying me back for everything! My thinking has now shifted from “if I make this choice, others will probably think ___ about me…” to “what can I do to nourish myself and feel good today? what can I do to make up for some of the not so great choices I have made this week that will help me move forward? what can I challenge myself to do today that I’ve never done before?”  <— (running!!!) It’s when I attempt to answer these questions that I get to experience the rush of discovering all the new things I can do (I mean really Jillian Michaels, you should send me a medal) and tastes I never thought I’d enjoy.

Phew! Ok, back to my point. Every Wednesday, I will not be featuring a part of me that I LOVE, whether it’s physical or related to my life in a very important way. Most importantly, I invite YOU, my readers, Facebook fans, Twitter followers, etc. to reflect on and share what you love about you too! You wouldn’t be here, reading this, if some part of you wasn’t thinking about the same things I often share about my own health journey.

And now for the good stuff! Today’s WILAM isssss……my eyes! I am famous for my peepers, it’s true! I have these huge, hazel-ish eyes with long lashes for curling and adding mascara and vast eyelid space for eyeshadows and liner. I love my eyes because they allow me to see the beauty in all things around me and they are the first feature most people notice about me. But the best thing about my eyes? I’ve passed them on to my daughter and now I get to see what everyone else has always talked about my whole life. Lucky me and lucky you!

this isn’t creepy or anything

And now it’s your turn! Take a second to look in the mirror or just really think about the things that you love about you! What makes you stand out not matter what size or stage you are in life? We all have SOMETHING and if you’ve never been asked this before, well, there’s a first time for everything.

❤ M.