Introducing: Scale-Less Septemeber!

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you might have noticed that I’ve started a new challenge: Brooke Not On A Diet’s Back To Basics Challenge! This challenge, put together by the incredible Brooke Birmingham is meant to get us all back to the very basics of weight loss and fitness. Each week, Brooke will introduce a new topic that will help us focus on getting back to basics. This week, it’s Improving Spaces (a topic borrowed from the Weight Watchers 360 plan). I’m happy to say that I’ve pretty much done all of the steps she includes in her post over the last year or so, especially improving my work space. In case you missed it, here’s a picture of my snack drawer and standing desk!

photo (28)

photo (29)

Also, I work out at work Monday-Friday every week, so I would say that work is where the magic mostly happens!

For my own personal goals this month, I wanted to work on focusing on my healthy eating and fitness. For this challenge, Brooke set up a private Facebook group and that is where I have outlined my two biggest goals:

1. Get into the next size down in clothes

2. Go SCALE-LESS for all of September and keep track of my progress by taking my measurements instead

the-no-scale-diet-challenge

The second goal has been well received in the #WWBTB group! Since I posted my idea to go scale-less this morning, I’ve had 6 others get in on it too. Imagine NOT stepping on a scale for an entire month while still keeping up the same amount of fitness and healthy eating that has helped me be successful! I can’t wait to see what the results will be. And even if the scale doesn’t move much, as long as I’m getting workouts and nutrition in, it will be a successful month either way!

So no more weigh-in’s for the rest of the month! My last one was for this morning to end my Diet Bet. I didn’t win, I was 2 lbs short but the good news is that I lost 7 lbs since the initial weigh-in of the bet so I really can’t complain!

❤ M.

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Weekly Weigh-In: What What!

Oh heck yes. I finally hit 40 lbs lost! Not only that, I hit 41.2 lbs lost this week! I have been waiting for this moment since I started this journey last November. I pretty much feel like this guy right now (click on it for the full effect):

kermie1

Hitting this milestone means a lot to me. My current weight is now lower than it was my senior year of college which is also when the slippery slope in my weight gain began. Now that I know that I can hit such a big milestone, I have no other reason to not believe that I can ultimately reach my goal some day. Life may get in the way at times, there will be more parties, barbecues, greasy food cravings and other temptations of the sort but all along, I’ve managed to chug forward and now I’m happy to say I am almost halfway to a personal weight goal.

I know I have never shared my actual weight on my blog and I’m still not ready to do it tonight but I am ready to say that when I reach the number I have in mind, I will have lost 87 lbs. That’s a huge goal and it will be quite the journey but to say that I am just about halfway there is really exciting and I’m taking a moment to celebrate!!

But like I said, each day has it’s struggles. Last night for dinner, I had a burger and sweet potato fries. Normally, I wouldn’t even mention this since everything else I ate yesterday was healthy and on point and not even my dinner put me over my daily calories (because I ate the calories I burned working out) but it was today that was where I really slipped up. I might see a pound or two creep back up after today’s lunch nachos ( I know, I know). I messed up there so I’ll be fighting back with work outs, veggies and water galore the rest of this week. I am just 2 pounds from winning my Diet Bet and I’m determined to get there! Labor Day will be a challenge but mancakes and I are going to focus on making healthier options for the little cook out we’ll be having this weekend.

Here are a few of our go-to grilling out recipes we have grown to love!

Avocado Crostini

Fresh Herb Potato Salad (Warning: This is Thug Kitchen, there’s a LOT of cursing but it’s worth it!)

We marinate chicken with the piccata marinade in this recipe and grill it

Let me know what you think if you try any of these out!

❤ M.

Weekly Weigh-In Post: Things Have Stalled

This morning, as I was putting together my lunch I remembered something Dani from Weight Off My Shoulders said earlier this week on her Facebook Page (which you should check out and like!):

Untitled

And that’s when it finally clicked in my brain: you, miss lady, have not been measuring and/or watching your portion sizes! I’ve been off of Weight Watchers since early July and apparently I went ahead and threw some very effective habits away along with my membership. This last month or so has been a whirlwind of road trips and stay-cations and visits from friends and bbq’s and outings. And all of that was also happening when I was doing WW but back then, my progress did not stall the way it has these last few weeks. Sure, summer can take its toll on a weight loss routine but I know better than to blame summer fun for weight gain. My portion sizes lately have been out of control. Even though I’m still exercising the same amount, I have somehow shifted back to eating until the walls of my stomach ache as opposed to sticking to correct portion sizes and giving myself time to feel full.

So I pulled out my measuring cups and spoons this morning and got right back to work. I felt really silly that I have been trying to convince myself lately that my body has just stalled, that I might be hitting a plateau. That would only be true if everything that helped me lose 37 lbs in the first place was exactly the same today. And it’s not, I’ve been slacka-lackin’ and part of me wants to blame being away from WW but the other part knows that WW, MyFitnessPal, SparkPeople, etc. all make you track portion sizes and I think I have been under tracking and not really owning up to the actual amount of calories I’ve been taking in.

It’s not easy being on top of every bite you take. After a while all that tracking can get exhausting. And much like the summer mindset, I’ve just been wanting to be more laid back but in all honesty, I still want to lose another 40 pounds and I’m not going to get there with the same habits that made me obese in the first place. Sure, it’s normal to experience a period of no progress but I need to be real with myself (and with you, my readers) right now:

1. I really have no excuse because I’m not particularly busy right now so I need to take advantage of this time.

2. Casa Unfluff would like add another little babycakes to our family in the near future and in preparation for that and for the time it will take to lose weight after another pregnancy in the future, I want to get down in weight as much as possible now. I don’t want to have as much work to do to lose the baby weight next time around! (side note: I’m weirdly excited about really reaping the benefits of the calorie burn from nursing next time around! That was an underutilized weight loss gold mine did not take full advantage of in the 10 months I nursed my daughter.)

3. It will only get harder to lose weight and keep it off as I get older so while I still have 2 years of my 20’s left, I might as well kick major ass now so I can work on maintaining a healthier weight instead of struggling more and more to get there.

So I’m hoping that this is the last of my teeter-totter dance with the scale. I know it will happen here and there but I’m ready for the scale to start going down again and stay down!

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Some great things about this past week? How about the fact that my Diet Betters are doing awesome!? As a group of 9, 2 weeks in, we’ve lost a total of 20 lbs and counting! That’s pretty flippin’ awesome. I can’t wait to see how far this little group goes. Also, check out my progress pic:

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I really dig that I have less face fluff. Going back to having only one chin and also having a smaller chest (TMI but I don’t care!) are two huge aesthetic goals that I have. I’m glad I posted this picture today because it keeps me focused and affirms that what I’m doing is noticeable and I’m transforming even if the scale tells me otherwise. The new haircut doesn’t hurt either… 😉

And finally, shout out to mancakes! He’s one of the betters that has lost weight AND he has done a fantastic job with meal planning and cooking this week! Here are the things we’ve had this week:

Monday Dinner: Skillet Mexican Zucchini

Tuesday Dinner: Pizza Night (we had a sitter and got to go to the movies!)

Wednesday Breakfast: Homemade fresh peach compote for pancakes

Wednesday Dinner: Baked Eggplant Boats with Sausage

Tonight’s Dinner: Naked Turkey Bruschetta Burgers 

All of those have been nothing short of amazing! Nice job, mancakes!

That’s all for this week’s weigh-in! I got a new Suggestion Box coming soon that will be all about Meal Planning!

❤ M.

Weekly Weigh-In: I Did Bad Things

omgiknowright
omgiknowright

I do! And I did. This last week was a roller coaster of healthy and unhealthy habits. On the one hand, I started my 10K training fer real this time! In the last week alone, I’ve put in over 10 miles of running. On the other hand, I went out of town this weekend where 2 birthdays were celebrated with two separate cakes, a brunch buffet and lots and lots of mojitos. And then today I did a very, very bad thing: I had my first real binge in months!

Mmmm...I mean NO! Gross!
Mmmm…I mean NO! Gross!

I am so not proud of myself. It was all intentional too. I was really sad today because it’s my wedding anniversary and mancakes had to go out of town for work. Cue Picture Break:

Awwwwww. See why I'm so sad? I lubz him.
Awwwwww. See why I’m so sad? I lubz him.

I don’t think my sadness really hit me until I got to work and was alone with all of my thoughts. Yoga made it worse. Have you ever gone to yoga or tried to meditate with a lot of unresolved emotions coursing through your head? It’s impossible and today my spirit was definitely rattled after that session. That was tough since I usually feel calm and at peace after some yoga but today it was the total opposite. Thankfully, I was pretty busy today but when I had free time I started thinking about what I could eat to make myself feel better when I got home. I thought about picking up pizza…going for ice cream with babycakes….ooo cake, maybe stop at a cupcake shop? No, no, nachos. Definitely nachos. Should I make them or go to a restaurant? Maybe I should just go to the grocery store and get one small thing…big mistake. I walked in, saw the Wing Zings, grabbed a small pizza for my kid (which I’m also not proud of but she barely ate it) and went home. As I was heating up the oven for the pizza, I remembered we still had some frozen fries and added those in too.

The thing is, I haven’t put together a meal like this in a long time. Sure we had the fries already, they went on the side of a skinny burger recipe from a few weeks ago. I’m not excusing the fries but I usually try to find some balance with my meals. If fries are present, I usually aim for some veggies or skipping the bun on the burger if possible. The point is, I turned a very emotional situation into an emotional eating situation. I’m not happy about it, in fact, I’m pretty miserable after eating that excuse for a meal. Do I feel better about mancakes being out of town? No, not really. I feel somewhat soothed but I’m dreading the work it will take to make up for this meal. I’ve already informed mancakes (who also had a poor meal at his hotel in solidarity with me) that I’ll more than likely be eating nothing but produce tomorrow. In fact, I will go ahead and tell you what I plan on eating tomorrow. Now I have to follow through, I don’t make my readers empty promises!

Breakfast:

Oatmeal Smoothie (1/2 cup rolled oats, 1 banana, 8 oz unsweetened vanilla almond milk, pb2, body key powder, 1/2 cup coffee cold brew concentrate, spinach, ice)

Morning Snack: Strawberries and blueberries

Lunch:

Salad in a jar (Homemade balsamic vinaigrette, cherry tomatoes, 1/4 cucumber, 1 TBSP feta cheese, 1/2 broccoli slaw, 2 cups spring mix)

2 SkinnyTaste Spinach Quinoa Patties

Dinner:

SkinnyTaste 3 Bean Turkey Chili and 1 square of Red Mill Cornbread

There. Now I’m going to hold myself to that. I can’t let the outcome of today ruin my week or my overall progress. I will prevail! And the good news is that I am working with a great weigh-in this week!

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I’m back on track and despite those damn wings and fries, I’m going to clobber a pound off this week so that I can finally say I LOST 40 POUNDS already. Sheesh. Talk about the most difficult Regina George number I’ve ever had to get to thus far. Thankfully, signing up for a Diet Bet (which you can still sign up for!) this month gives me nothing but pure motivation!

❤ M.

Weekly Weigh-In and Diet Bet Time!

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So, not surprisingly I’m up again this week. I conferenced all weekend long, work is feeding me twice this week, it’s my lady times (sorry, TMI). All in all, it’s not as much as I anticipated (at least 2 lbs) and like I said last week, I’m enjoying what’s left of my little summer adventures which includes the up and down scale dance.

BUT I have devised a way to get back to business! I set up a Diet Bet for the month of August! It’s a cheap bet of only $10 so my friends and fans can find out what the Diet Bet experience is like! Now I know what you’re thinking: Mariana, I thought you swore off Diet Bets! Yes, for a little while but now that I’ve had a couple of months to recover, I decided to give it another try and I’m taking the pressure of myself this time by making a low bet. If this goes well enough, I’d be happy to consider a higher bet next time.

How does DietBet work exactly? Well, an organizer sets up a game and sets the bet amount. You sign onto to a DB by paying the bet first, submitting a picture of your weight as it shows on the scale and then you have 4 weeks to lose 4% of your body weight! That’s it! The site and the mobile app act as a social media site for you bet. You have a newsfeed that shows everyone’s progress (it doesn’t show your actual weight unless you want it to) and you can cheer each other on, check in your workout and announce any other achievements. So if you’re interested, click on the image below to get the link.

Click to get to my game!
Click to get to my game!

That’s all for this week’s weigh-in! I got some packing to do, sleep to get, miles to run in the morning and a 7 hour road trip after work tomorrow! I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve ben on the go, go, go!

❤ M.

Weekly Weigh In: Riding This Weight Roller Coaster

I have been a very busy lady these days. The weekend that just passed plus the next two are completely booked and I have just been trying to manage my schedule around getting things done, taking time to relax and squeezing in health and fitness where I can.

This week’s weigh-in:

bear weight

Last week’s weigh-in, I was up 1.2 lbs from the week before, only to weigh in at -1.6 lbs the next day! My weight is literally changing everyday and although I know that’s normal (I weigh in at the same time each time) it’s also a tad frustrating. I’ve been dancing around the same 3-4ish pounds for what seems like at least a month now. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I have been taking full advantage of summer time which not only means getting outside more and being more active but also enjoying the vacation lifestyle (read: rich food, alcohol, snacks, etc). I’ve been doing this since I ran off to Portland in June for Fitbloggin’ and every other weekend it’s been the same kind of party in U.S.A. type of life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not regretting any of it. I’m actually welcoming it because unlike my past when I would indulge, indulge, indulge then pass out, I find myself getting up to run, swim, walk and find some vegetation to eat even on vacation.

The difference on how I used to “relax” is virtually night and day. The food and drinks at barbecues and festivals and conferences and resorts has not changed, but I have. Or I should say, WE have at Casa Unfluff. Before leaving town on Friday, mancakes went off and bought road trip snacks for the Dells which for us usually means chips, jerky and candy for the road. I was elated when he picked me up and we had a cooler full of hummus, mini peppers, cubed cheese, mini sausages, sliced apples and sliced pears. All food that was not only healthier but more useful in giving us energy for the 4 hour car ride. Babycakes appreciated it too, she could eat cheese all day.

So even with another conference this weekend and another road trip next week, I know that if I keep squeezing in my workouts and staying on top of my food game whenever I can, I really have no reason to be upset about the +1.2’s and -1.2’s here and there. The way I see it, if it’s the same weight jumping on and off my scale screen I’m still really happy about it because I’m not the person I was a year ago who just did all of these summer things without any control and let my weight keep creeping up without doing anything about it. I’m meeting myself in the middle right now so that I can still enjoy myself and have a good time. And I know that this right here, this is what maintenance will look like when I get there. This is just a taste of the day-to-day balance that’s going to happen when I’ve reached my set point.

So, hello 1.2 lbs, you’ll probably be gone by Friday only to resurface next Tuesday once the damage of my conference is done. And then I’ll make you disappear again by next Friday only to return from a 7 hour road trip that will more than likely bring you back. And I’m ok with that because I’m making memories while still taking charge of my health.

Here are a few interesting articles I found about Summer Weight Gain, cuz it’s a thing people!

Air Conditioning and Weight Gain

Reasons Why We Gain Weight in the Summer

Why Children Gain Weight in the Summer

❤ M.

Body Key Experiment Update: 1 Week Down

Here’s my weigh in:

sonofa...
sonofa…

You know what 40 lbs lost, I’ma need you to stop being so hard to get to! Le sigh. I’m not shocked, I drank a lot of adult beverages last week (durn you open bar at the at-work BBQ!!) and ate some pretty rich food too. I was impressed by the BBQ salad selection though at our work celebration last week, that was pretty stellar. As were the margaritas…

Well, the Body Key experiment is going ok. Not great, not terrible, just ok. The week started with the aloe shots on the first day. The instructions are to kick off the plan with an aloe shot in the morning then in the late afternoon for the first two days. Since mancakes didn’t want to do these, I did 2 on the first day, forgot about them for a day and a half, did another on day 3 before dinner and threw out the fourth after forgetting that I took it out of the fridge and left it in my gym bag. The third shot I took was on an empty stomach and since we were prepping dinner I took the Slimmetry pills too. That was a mistake because I had stomach cramps within minutes of finishing the shot. I started chugging water to fill my stomach but the pain only ceased once I got some dinner in there. Thaaaat can’t be safe….

The pills I haven’t really been doing. Quite frankly, I keep forgetting about them! I’m going to try and remember them so I can see if they even make a difference.

I’m not all that into the shakes. These are meant to be a meal replacement and I’ve tried making it several ways to make it taste better but they keep coming up chalky and only kinda chocolatey. I made it with water the first day, plain unsweetened almond milk and pb2 the next day and on the third I tried plain unsweetened almond milk the rest of the week. Mancakes seems to like the shake and he just makes it with water. Me notsomuch.

I’ve only done the chews once, I don’t really see the need for them unless I know my next meal won’t be for several hours and I’m already hungry at that point.

We didn’t do shakes over the weekend, we could have but didn’t. I’m having a hard time with the meal replacement concept. Sure the shake has enough protein and nutrients to chemically replace a meal but it has 0 satisfaction. I really like to chew my food. To smell it, savor it ,cuddle it, etc. So I was over it until today when I had a shake (with oatmeal, a banana and chocolate PB2 added to it)for breakfast. I can see why people lose weight on this stuff…because they’re HUNGRY.

One thing I have noticed is that I’m snacking more. Because A. I feel like I’m underfed and B. I’ve started to justify in my head that because I’m replacing a meal that’s usually 400-500 cals for a 165 cal (made with water only) shake then I have all sorts of extra calories left for the rest of the day. Full meals keep me full and satiated longer. I’m realizing that I eat less overall if I’m sticking to my usual 3 meals and 2 snacks a day than when I’m snacking here and there trying to make up for the less than satisfying shake-meal experience.

So to sum it up: photo (26)

❤ M.

Weekly Weigh-In: Body in Transition

Since Tuesday is my weigh-in day, I decided to make it my first at home weigh-in now that I’m no longer on Weight Watchers. I’m sad to leave WW but I’m not sad we’ll be saving a little more money each month. I’m also excited to try to find my own groove using MyFitnessPal (username is Intrepidida if you want to connect!). I really love the community there and the fact that I can sync my Fitbit Flex and other apps so all the technology things are talking to each other!

So now it’s onto this week’s weigh-in! Keep in mind, I didn’t share last week’s weigh-in because I was crazy busy recovering from FitBloggin. I was up 2.6 lbs (yeeesh). This week?

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Thank you FitBloggin for kicking my booty! It’s true what they say, sometimes results show up a week later. Those 3700 calories I torched in 3 days in Portland finally got me all caught up!

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve been feeling in my new body. When I first started my weight loss journey, it was pretty easy to lose my first 20 lbs and it was exciting to wear a smaller size. Now I’m on the cusp of losing my second 20 lbs and I’ve started noticing how much my actual body is changing.

For anyone that has a lot of weight to lose you’ll notice that your body doesn’t just get small and tighten up all over. Sometimes it happens in sections or just one area will lose all the weight it can before moving on to the next. I’ve always joked that I gain weight from the top down (boobs then waist then butt/legs) but I’ve never engaged in large scale weight loss like this so I have no idea what to expect.

Turns out I lose weight from areas in no particular order. At first, it was my waist then came the booty and then the top shelf. Right now my stomach has gotten really soft, like an old waterbed mattress. It’s strange, awkward and kind of hilarious. Although I fit into smaller sizes, I still have to tuck certain parts in here and squish a love handle around to make a more flattering silhouette. I still have to hike my pants up or girdle up in a nice dress but I wouldn’t trade this body in for my old one. A minor inconvenience for a lifetime of healthier living I suppose!

Speaking of ridiculosity: day 2 on the Body Key system was equally as bizarre as yesterday. I changed up the shake with some almond milk and PB2. I over did the PB2 I think, so I’ll tweak that tomorrow. I tried the appetite suppressing chew today and it was well, here’s how it turned out:

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Oh lordy.

G’night!

❤ M.

Weekly “Weigh-In”: The Rhythm of Weight Loss (and Parenting)

One of my favorite movies of all time! I know, I'm sorry.
One of my favorite movies of all time! I know, I’m sorry.

So I lied a little. I said wasn’t going to get back on the scale for a while but I went to WW to weigh-in anyway this morning. Part of it is just habit. I’ve been doing this since November and it’s become an anchor in my week that helps keep me accountable. The other part was sheer curiosity! I had been gaining steadily for three weeks before I decided in last week’s post to just not weigh myself anymore. Despite all of that, I just really, really, really wanted to see if any of the focus I put in last week paid off and well, it did. I’m down 2.4 lbs (for a total 35.4 lbs lost) which means I worked off all the weight gain from the last 3 weeks and then some. Or maybe I didn’t work it off per se, I could have just been going through some sort of adjustment with my body. Since I have been on this journey, there have been two other times where weight just crept back on unexpectedly (ok, maybe not THAT unexpectedly) only to disappear entirely and then some the next week or two later.

So I guess for someone who made some long-winded statements (this is my schtick, if you haven’t figured this out by now!) about just trying to be in tune with her body and do what feels right, I obviously wasn’t paying attention to my own words. I’m now understanding that there’s a rhythm to this process. Weight loss is not this = that, it ebbs and flows much like so many other things in our lives. Some weeks, I really do indulge a bit and might not make all of my workouts which justifies a gain. Other weeks (usually following an EARNED gain) I might have kicked my own butt back into gear, stayed on top of my points and exercise and still gained again, leaving me feeling disappointed and ashamed. But 7 days is an arbitrary number to assign my body and my progress. I can’t expect my body to just do what I expect it to do whenever I want, if I still gain again the following week, it’s because I might still be paying for the stuff I did the week before.

This reminds me of what it has been like to become a parent. I have struggled and still struggle with being patient through my daughter’s developmental stages. I look back on how difficult it was for me to transition from an individual to a mom and how I literally had to be ok with not doing things (like showering, using the bathroom whenever I wanted, making plans with friends) because I now had this little creature that depended on me and her father. I set out to be one of those super moms, going right back to work because I wanted to (not because I was all out of paid leave), finishing graduate school without missing a beat and finding a job right away once I graduated. Well as it turned out, I only went back to work for 8 weeks. Instead of staying at my job until the last possible second or just asking for part time so I could get my internship done, I gave it up entirely and I even stayed home for 2 weeks with my kid before my internship and assistanship began. I stayed home with her again for 4 months while I searched for a full time job, again, something I never thought I would have to or want to do (but I did, it was like a summer vacation and I’m grateful for it!).

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Photo break! She finally sat still for our train ride to the color run!

There have been times when I have begged my child to do things or understand things she’s not developmentally ready for and I have had to really take a step back and be patient with her and with myself. It finally dawned on me that I can’t rush her and the things we want to happen will, all in good time. As long as mancakes and I continue to provide structure and set expectations, she will eventually achieve her milestones and blast on through to the next ones like we’ve seen her do in her 2 years of life. You should see her bed time routine! It hasn’t changed in over a year and it has proven to work beautifully every night. She adores consistency and routine, it helps her thrive.

Have you caught my epiphany moment yet? Yep, I guess it seems that I gotta take it easy on my fluff too. Obviously, it’s not a person that I can reason with or a pet I can train. But weight loss is a lot like parenting, it takes time, persistence, patience and most of all, consistency. If I keep pushing against my excess weight through a healthy diet and lots of exercise, it eventually has to relent to my efforts. I have to trust that the results will show up over time, I just need to be patient with any adjustments or needs my body might have that could cause the occasional gain. All I know is that after 2 years of parenting, I get better results using the “killing it with kindness” method than with anything else. So body, you’re going to keep getting all sorts of lovins from me in the form of healthy food, water and ass-kicking workouts! You’re welcome in advance 😉

❤ M.

Weekly “Weigh-In”

So you are probably noticing the little quotation marks around my title. I have made an executive decision: I’m taking a break from the scale. There are a myriad of reasons why I am doing this which I will share with you over time. A few of which I will share with you today.

First of all, I apologize to any of you that sit and wait in hungry anticipation every Tuesday night to see my weigh-in post with my numbers up (you all do that right?). If I have broken your heart then I am sorry but I have always said that I am not that into numbers anyway, just progress and positivity. Right now, I feel as though this is the right decision for me for a few reasons:

1. This is my last week as a Weight Watchers monthly pass member. This isn’t a decision I’m taking lightly but we are trying to save money wherever we can in the Project Unfluff house and I think I am ready to take the training wheels off of my eating practices. I am not saying I have mastered the Points Plus system or even Simply Filling (which was kind of a bust when I tried it) but I think I have learned enough about portion sizes, hunger signals, healthier food options and whether or not I’m soothing an emotion with food to be on my own for a little while. If anything, I can always go back to the online plan for half the cost! Instead, I might try MyFitnessPal or SparkPeople.

2. I’m still grappling with what numbers even mean to me. I’m 9 months into this journey and I still don’t have any idea what I think as my ideal weight or clothing size that I’d like to aim for. I see pictures of my past and I know I would like to look like that again but that was 10-14 years ago! That was before I was done growing. Before I had a child. I can’t focus on that body because it wasn’t the body of a woman, it was the body of a teenager and it’s not realistic for me to say that I want to go back to that. I want to work with this body the way it is now, get the body fat down, strengthen the muscles and slim down to a size I feel comfortable being at, even if it’s not a single digit size.

3. I’m exhausted by scales and measurements. I might check in every once in a while and see where I am at but I started all of this to finally be in tune with my body and some days I wake up feeling awesome and slim and gorgeous and then I get on the scale and if that number doesn’t reflect how I feel, I let that number ruin my day.

So for these reasons (and more, stay tuned!), I am taking a hiatus from the scale. Yes, I did weigh-in today at WW and I gained 1.4 lbs. No, this is not why I am breaking up with the scale. Frankly, this was a long time coming. I came to this a-ha moment last night and it made for a much better morning. I knew there was a good chance I might have gained again but I feel strong, I feel fit and my clothes are all still loose! Plus, there’s more to the story I don’t know. That weight might be muscle! I’ve been doing strength circuits and yoga for a month now, all workouts that are meant to build muscle. There’s a good chance that’s what might be going on. Also, I really do want to try out being more intuitive with my eating and fitness. I want to make intentional choices, adjust things accordingly and deal with emotional eating head on.

I know what you’re thinking: “She’s setting herself up for failure! This blog will be changed to Project Re-Fluff in no time!” Nah. I don’t think so. I can’t go back, it’s no fun back there! I had no energy! I wasn’t as excited about life! I didn’t feel good about myself! And most importantly: I never lived in the present like I do now. It was always “tomorrow” this and “next time” that. I can’t live that way anymore. The world has become an even scarier place lately and crazy things are happening all of the time (I live in Chicago, local news is terrifying no matter what neighborhood you live in) so I have to be living the life I want now, not when or if I finally get around to being healthier.

We’ll see how this all goes. I think just taking the pressure off of looking at the number on the scale will be good for my soul. Instead, how about focusing on other numbers like how many miles I can run in one workout? How many flights of stairs I can take without wanting to keel over? How many rounds around the yard I can chase my kid before getting winded? How many pants I have to put in storage because they’re too big? Those are the numbers I’m going to focus on right now. What numbers do you want to focus on??

Ok wait, one more number: how many more side by sides like these??? Amiright?

photo (16)

❤ M.